In a plot twist no one saw coming, Trump is bringing his four adult children on his forthcoming state visit. It will be like Goes To The

Earl Grey

The one immutable law about TV sitcoms is the show should never leave its ual setting. Sex And The City’s worst episodes were when Carrie went to Los Angeles and ooh la la! Paris, where les franais were trs rude but the croissants were fantastique. That cultural insight looked positively authentic compared with the trip to Abu Dhabi in the second film, where the girls were terrorised by swarthy men and befriended by alluring ladies. This is what happens when a show forgets its appeal is rooted in a particular place, and when the scriptwriters have apparently never been abroad. Suddenly its site-specic references are swapped for national cliches even the makers of National Lampoons European Vacation would reject as a bit obvio.

Which brings me to the forthcoming episode of Goes To The , AKA Trumps state visit. In a plot twist no one saw coming, Trump is bringing not jt Ivanka, the daughter he once said he would date they weren’t related, but his less date-able adult children, too: Donnie Jr, Eric and Tfany! Trumps daughter with second we Marla Maples is not a regular character, so its exciting when she makes an unexpected appearance. Sort of like on The Cosby Show when Lisa Bonet would come back from college, AKA shooting the sex thriller Angel Heart with Mickey Rourke. I’m not insinuating Tfany is up to something similar, but I bet shes having more fun than her half-siblings.

The ’s overlaps with the Bluth family from Arrested Development have been the one consistent thing about them: there’s the shady, property-dealing father (George/Donald Trump); the stupid son desperate for his fathers approval (Gob/Donnie Jr); the amoral daughter who mistakes her own idiocy for geni (Lindsay/Ivanka); and the son who seems even dumber than the other one (Bter/Eric). I once thought Jared Kushner (also coming to ) was Michael, the one son trying to hold the Bluths together. But he is clearly Tobias, the moronic son-in-law, so maybe Tfany is Michael. Well find out on this trip when she stops her father psy-grabbing a minor royal.

Although TV shows always go wrong when they go abroad, they go especially wrong in Britain. Parks And Recreation, The Simpsons, Friends: all excellent shows, all instantly unwatchable when transplanted to SW1. Interestingly, they all went wrong in exactly the same ways, becae there is a cliche checklist n sitcoms mt follow: cringe-tastic appearances by random British celebrities; the obligatory sightseeing montage; scene in or outside Buckingham Palace; n character having a romance with British twit. So while it might have been dispiriting to watch Matt LeBlanc and Matthew Perry mug it up with Sarah Ferguson and Richard Branson (jt your typical slice of le), it is helpful in preparing for what will happen on this state visit.

Opening scene: President Trump and his entourage are going for a stroll through St Jamess Park and encounter a .

Trump [grave-robbing an old Robin Williams joke]: Its like baseball, but on Valium. I jt came up with that myself.

Donnie Jr: Good one, Dad!

The batsman [Boris Johnson]: Care for a spot of bish bosh, Mr President?

The bowler [Nigel Farage]: Yes, come and have a , Mr President!

Trump: I am actually the greatest player of all time.

An outfield player [desperate to join in]: Yes, he is! [Oh hi, Piers Morgan.]

Cut to: Ivanka, Jared and Eric on an open-top b looking at landmarks normally miles apart but now suddenly next to one another.

Ivanka [cooing]: Ooh, thats Big Ben! And Madame Tsauds! And theres Windsor Castle lets go see Meghan and Harry.

Jared: Apparently theyre, er, by.

Eric: Who cares! I found a royal whos way better than them anyway. [He points to the back of the b. Its Sarah Fergon!]

Back at Buckingham Palace, President Trump greets the Queen.

The Queen [gripping her handbag]: Did you have a pleasant journey?

Trump: Ever been on a private plane? Mines the greatest in the world.

The Queen [whispering to Prince Philip]: This is worse than when James Bond phed me out of a helicopter.

Cut to: Tfany sneaks off to find the real (Notting Hill), but gets lost! A man is queueing at an outdoor tea trolley a typical thing.

Tfany: Exce me, Im looking for Buckingham Palace.

The man [Tom Hiddleston, staring Englishly into her eyes]: Of course. But care to share a pot of Earl Grey with me first?

Tfany [laughing nishly]: Only I can have mine on ice!

Ah yes, and thats the final rule about episodes of sitcoms: they mt make both nationalities look equally appalling.

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